Today, I will post some interesting football jokes. REMEMBER: I am not trying to insult anyone with this jokes, its just For Fun, and I hope you will have a laugh.
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Cristiano Ronaldo, on one press release said: "God sent me to the Earth to play football!". Some time later, Ribery had press release. There, he was asked what does he thinks about what Ronaldo said. Ribery said: "I've sent noone"
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The son asks his father. Dad, when did Real Madrid last time won a title?
The Dad: "I don't know son, ask your grand father".
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Q: Why does Luxemburg doesn't play football?
A: If someone shoots the ball harder, they will have to run to Belgium, Germany or France to get it.
*no offense
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During a football match, the coach calls one of the youngest players on the field to him. He asks him:
- Do you know what team play is?
- Yes! - says the player
- Do you understand that when you get out on the field what is important is the team, not yourself, like a individual?
- Yes, I do. - he replies.
- Do you understand that when you get fouled, you don't argue with the judge and you don't swear him?
- Yeah. - the player answers.
- Well, then go to the stands and explain all this to your mother!
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Below is a letter published in a British personal advice column.
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I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to a guy from Manchester, England. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mount Eaden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the Wellington remand centre on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilising her knowledge of the industry, working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Manchester United fan?
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When David Beckham scores I drink Becks.
When Paul Scholes scores I drink Skol.
When Tommy Miller scores I drink Millers.
Thank stuff David Seaman was a goalie.
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Now, few 'painful' footballer pictures:
And a few funny ones:
Thease days I've finally discovered the reason of that 'self-destruction'.
It all started during a corner kick, when Materazzi pulled Zidane's shirt. On that, he said:
- If you want my shirt, you can have it. Then, Materazzi replied:
- I don't need your f*cking shirt, oldie.
After that they've started running towards the center of the field. Materazzi continued to provoke:
- You should have retired 2 seasons ago! Idiot, you are too old for this job! F*ck you!
Zidane ignored all that and smiled. Then Materazzi said:
- Idiot do you hear me?!?
Still no reply. And in the end, Materazzi said:
- At the moment you are good enough only for Milan.
On that, Zidane turned around and hit Materazzi with his head. After that a red card was following.
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Thats all for now, I hope you will find this interesting, especially the fans of the football. For the non-football fan readers, there will be new post coming soon.
Thank you for reading this wall of text, I hope you had some fun!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cristiano Ronaldo, on one press release said: "God sent me to the Earth to play football!". Some time later, Ribery had press release. There, he was asked what does he thinks about what Ronaldo said. Ribery said: "I've sent noone"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The son asks his father. Dad, when did Real Madrid last time won a title?
The Dad: "I don't know son, ask your grand father".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why does Luxemburg doesn't play football?
A: If someone shoots the ball harder, they will have to run to Belgium, Germany or France to get it.
*no offense
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a football match, the coach calls one of the youngest players on the field to him. He asks him:
- Do you know what team play is?
- Yes! - says the player
- Do you understand that when you get out on the field what is important is the team, not yourself, like a individual?
- Yes, I do. - he replies.
- Do you understand that when you get fouled, you don't argue with the judge and you don't swear him?
- Yeah. - the player answers.
- Well, then go to the stands and explain all this to your mother!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Below is a letter published in a British personal advice column.
--------------
I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to a guy from Manchester, England. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mount Eaden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the Wellington remand centre on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilising her knowledge of the industry, working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being a Manchester United fan?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When David Beckham scores I drink Becks.
When Paul Scholes scores I drink Skol.
When Tommy Miller scores I drink Millers.
Thank stuff David Seaman was a goalie.
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Now, few 'painful' footballer pictures:
And a few funny ones:
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And, as for the end, I will discover you the biggest 'mistery' in the football's history.
You all know the infamous carrier ending by Zidane, in the World's Cup final, 2006, when he hit Materazzi with his head, knocking him down on the grass. He was sent off because of that, as you know.
It all started during a corner kick, when Materazzi pulled Zidane's shirt. On that, he said:
- If you want my shirt, you can have it. Then, Materazzi replied:
- I don't need your f*cking shirt, oldie.
After that they've started running towards the center of the field. Materazzi continued to provoke:
- You should have retired 2 seasons ago! Idiot, you are too old for this job! F*ck you!
Zidane ignored all that and smiled. Then Materazzi said:
- Idiot do you hear me?!?
Still no reply. And in the end, Materazzi said:
- At the moment you are good enough only for Milan.
On that, Zidane turned around and hit Materazzi with his head. After that a red card was following.
* Of course, this is a joke :)
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Thats all for now, I hope you will find this interesting, especially the fans of the football. For the non-football fan readers, there will be new post coming soon.
Thank you for reading this wall of text, I hope you had some fun!
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